heroofthemachine
To all of my tumblr friends and followers:

cheycheysil:

Tomorrow when I wake up I am deleting my blog. One of my friends will be saving my URL in case I decide to come back because this URL means a lot to me. I don’t know why. It just does. As for why I am deleting my tumblr, there are a lot of reasons and let me explain them all.

I realized my life is being controlled by a website and this is the pure cause for my internet addiction. It gave me something to do when I had better things to do like read a book or do my homework. Being drawn to a website like that is not healthy. I should not hide behind a website

I need to work on myself. I realized since I was being controlled by a website, I felt that there was nothing that needed to be changed about me because my internet friends would always be there for me. This does not help either. I need to realize that I have problems instead of hiding them from myself and from everyone else. This was always the place I would come to to find comfort but I can’t do that. I need to find comfort in my friends and not a blog. I need to step out of my comfort zone.

I feel that tumblr was one of the reasons Adam and I broke up. Because of tumblr, I would blatantly ignore his requests. And now that I think of it, I definitely should delete my tumblr if I ignore my fucking boyfriend. All he wanted me to do was change and I would for a little bit but then I would hide behind this website after. I need to stop and show that I am willing to change and actually try with things.

The saddest part is, it took losing my most favorite person in the world to realize that I was addicted to a fucking website. Who the fuck does that? With writing this post, I feel a shit ton better about myself because I know I’m letting go of a really big burden. I cannot wait to wake up tomorrow and delete this. I am still upset/depressed from losing the love of my life but I feel I am making a big step to getting better and showing him that I am willing to change.

To all of that, I bid all of you farewell and I wish you luck. If you would like to add me on Facebook to stay in touch with me, feel free to send me a message asking for my full name. I am grateful for all of you and you are all wonderful people but I need to take steps to making my life better than sitting behind a computer 24/7 complaining about my life.

Goodbye, everyone